


the day that i ruined your life

by petricohr



Category: I Am Not Okay With This (Comics), I Am Not Okay with This (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kinda, Lesbian Sydney Novak, Minor Character Death, Post-Canon, Stanley Barber is a Good Friend, i havent wrote in months, i wrote this after reading the comic but after seeing the show trailer, it's a weird mix sorry, no beta we die like brad, this sucks im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25600888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petricohr/pseuds/petricohr
Summary: She stepped out into the cold, silently wishing she had brought a jacket. It was around five a.m and the sky was an array of blues melting into each other, placing an odd filter on the world around Sydney. It wasn’t completely bright, as Sydney could still make out one singular lone star dimly shining in the sky. Maybe this was a big ‘fuck you’ from the universe; taunting her and reminding her that no matter what, ultimately she was alone.-or, how sydney's life came to end without really ending.
Relationships: Stanley Barber & Sydney Novak
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	the day that i ruined your life

**Author's Note:**

> i was clearing my google docs out and i found this from february, it was unfinished so i just threw together an ending as i'm no longer interested in ianowt and i just wanted this not to go to waste.

Blood.

There was so much blood. Not only was there so much blood, it was everywhere. Maybe if it was Sydney’s own blood it wouldn’t be that bad, but it wasn’t hers. It was Bradley Davis’ blood. And Bradley Davis was her best friend - and crushes - boyfriend. 

Sydney had been frozen in place for a full minute, staring in horror at what she’d done. She hadn’t planned on this. Sure, Brad was a homophobic, sexist piece of shit who had really pissed Sydney off for leaving Dina alone when she had her pregnancy scare and for generally being a manipulative abusive piece of shit towards her, but also for the constant taunting both Sydney and Stanley were forced to endure simply for existing. He never hesitated in mocking Sydney for her sexuality, hurling slurs at her as if there was an award for most homophobic dipshit of the year - but holy fucking shit all of those times that she had cried to Stan and ranted about how she wanted to kill him she didn’t mean it literally.

She was covered in blood, it had been pretty brutal. Maybe if this was a scene in a movie she would have said it was badass, maybe she would’ve walked off while looking cool. She didn’t look cool and she wasn’t a badass in a movie though. She was a scared freak. Not only a freak, she was now a fucking killer.

She was in a dress she had only recently bought. It was a very nice one, she had to admit, although she didn’t usually wear dresses. It was autumn, therefore the temperature had steadily been dropping the past few weeks, making the likelihood of her wearing a dress decrease further; except there had been a school dance the night before and she had decided to go with Dina and Stanley, her two best friends. It had taken a lot of persuasion and she now regretted giving in more than ever. Now, though, her very nice dress was very much covered in the blood of the person she hates most. Well, now she had to say hated because oh yes, she just fucking murdered him.

Moving for the first time in minutes, Sydney’s head slowly tilted downwards as she felt something cold against her foot. In normal circumstances it would have been no surprise that her foot was wet considering the shoes she had put on in her blind rage had a hole in the sole, except in normal circumstances it isn’t the blood of somebody you just blew up dampening your sock. 

She needed to get away. Sydney had time. Nobody knew yet. The only people in the shop at that time had been Sydney, Brad and whoever his friend was. The same friend that Sydney had flung against a wall and knocked unconscious. The thing is, how long did she have before her deed was discovered and what was one even meant to do in such a situation? Sydney didn’t have the answer to that.

What would happen to her if she was caught for this? Surely causing somebody to explode due to telekinetic powers you can’t control wasn’t common, so it wasn’t like there was any database for her to look up for a rough guideline on what to expect; something that made this whole ordeal so much more terrifying - it had unknown consequences that couldn’t be predicted.

Slowly beginning the process of heading toward the exit, Sydney was struggling to fully comprehend what had happened. How was it that twelve hours ago she was feeling normal for the first time in years; happily dancing to Come On Eileen in the school gymnasium with Stan and Dina since Brad had fucked off to god knows, still angry at Syd for being a good friend and telling Dina that he had cheated on her with Jenny, yet now she was backing away from Brad’s corpse, covered in his blood, with no idea of where to go or what to do.

She took a deep breath before pushing on the door to the hardware shop, fighting to keep her emotions at bay. They’d done enough damage for one night. No, scratch that, enough damage for one lifetime. She was so sick of them. They ruined everything. It was rare to have a day where her anger didn’t boil over and cause some sort of accident that she’d struggle to explain to everyone. Everyone except her best friend, Stan. He knew about her ‘powers’, and had greatly surprised her by not abandoning her or trying to sell her to some lab for experiments. Instead, he did what he could to help. Sure, he could be a complete idiot about them such as the time he suggested testing her powers causing her to nearly murder him from rage in the bowling alley, but still. He had good intentions.

Now, his idea of helping usually involved drinking or smoking, but he managed to calm her down nonetheless. He never even forced her to talk - and when she did talk, he would listen intently, offering advice or comfort where applicable. He was simply always there for her no matter what. Sydney would show up at Stan’s door mid-meltdown and he’d immediately bring her to his basement bedroom where he’d acquired numerous objects for her to throw that wouldn’t cause harm as she ranted about wanting to harm herself; occasionally mentioning killing herself to stop her outbursts - but Stan was somehow always ready to deal with whatever she showed up with and they had both lost count of how many times she had cried from both rage and misery until falling asleep on his shoulder.

It wasn’t just Syd being comforted though, it worked both ways. Every time that Syd showed up at his door, there was an equivalent of Stan showing up either at her door or window, a brand new cut or bruise from his father somewhere on his body; ready for Syd to tend to with the first aid kit she had bought just to look after her friend as he sobbed, audibly questioning why he ‘wasn’t good enough’ for his father and the few options he did have to deal with it - the darker ones periodically feeling like his best option. 

Syd reckoned that’s why their friendship worked. They may have different situations and issues in their lives, but their problems were still equally as big and devastating to them and their futures; yet through it all they had each other. The thought of how much Stanley had helped her since her father passed was what cemented her decision to go visit him and inform him that she had in fact just murdered Bradley Davis.

She stepped out into the cold, silently wishing she had brought a jacket. It was around five a.m and the sky was an array of blues melting into each other, placing an odd filter on the world around Sydney. It wasn’t completely bright, as Sydney could still make out one singular lone star dimly shining in the sky. Maybe this was a big ‘fuck you’ from the universe; taunting her and reminding her that no matter what, ultimately she was alone.

Letting out a sigh, she set off in the direction of her neighbourhood, appreciating how silent and still everything was. It was times like this that let her know the world wasn’t always such an awful, hate-filled place. It could be quiet and peaceful, calming even. Sydney let her mind go blank, not really focusing on anything as she walked. If she didn’t she probably would have caused more harm to those who didn’t deserve it.

An icy numbness had spread from her fingertips to the rest of her body, and she couldn’t help but wonder if that’s what it felt like for Brad; the cold slowly creeping up inside of him, claiming his body now that it could no longer function. Images of his body just lying there, mangled, eyes lifeless gazing at her; sunken into his pale, waxy skin as death settled around him flashed through her mind. 

Sydney had realised that she was running to Stan’s house, but she couldn’t stop. Even when her legs began to burn and it was as if her lungs had become human, begging her to just breathe. But she couldn’t. How could she, after she took away Brad’s ability to breathe?  
She wasn’t sure how long it took for her to get to Stan’s, but she came to a stop in his garden, sucking in lungfuls of air that she had deprived herself of. Stumbling down the small slope, she crept towards the back of the house where she knew Stan would have an open window. She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw it was open, and she bent down to peek through; eyes landing on his lanky figure slumped over the arm of the sofa, comic in hand.

She nudged the window with her foot to widen it and slipped through the gap she had created, landing on the floor quietly. Stan didn’t seem surprised to hear her come in, but upon seeing her covered in blood he did a double take.

“What the fuck,” He exhaled as a puff of smoke came from between his lips. He set his comic down, standing up and making his way over. 

“Stan,” she whispered, staring at him in fear and he nearly paused, realising that something bad had happened this time - worse than any previous incidents.

“Syd,” he kept his voice as neutral as possible, not wanting to send her into a more panicked state, “what happened?”

At this, she jerked back, eyes wide and breathing hitched. “Stan, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t want to, I swear- please, I promise I didn’t mean to-”

Stan grabbed her arm, pulling her back to the present. “Breathe, Syd- is this blood?” Stan pulled back on instinct, staring at his hand which was now stained red.

When Syd didn’t reply, he rushed her over to the bathroom part of his bedroom, grabbing his towel for her. “I’ll lend you some clothes - you need to scrub the blood off.”

Syd just blinked at him, slowly nodding before stepping into the shower, tugging the curtain over and beginning to undress. As the water heated up, Sydney allowed herself a moment to breathe.

There was no plan for what could be next, no way to prepare for whatever was to come. All she had right now was Stan, her best friend who had stayed with her through it all - but who knows if he’ll stick around for this mess.

She scrubbed herself until she felt clean, her skin red from the aggression. She finished and grabbed the towel left for her, dressing quickly into one of Stan’s hoodies and sweatpants.  
Stan was waiting on the couch for her and she nearly erupted into tears again as she curled up against his shoulder, knowing any sense of normalcy they had left was about to begin.

In the distance, she could hear sirens and she squeezed her eyes shut as she took a deep breath. It was now or never - his life would be ruined with this news regardless of how hw found out.

“I killed Bradley Davis.”


End file.
